Hey. It’s Bob Negen, and welcome to another episode of Real Retail TV.

Today, we’re going to explore a counterintuitive but the correct way to deal with customer complaints and difficult customers.

If you’ve been in retail for any amount of time, you’ve heard the old saying the customer is always right. But if you’ve been in retail for any amount of time, you also know that the customer is not always right, but the customer is always the customer. So what we’re trying to do is find a way to navigate unreasonable requests, unreasonable complaints, and do it in such a way that shows respect to our customers yet gets us what we want also.

So the first thing I wanna share with you is this idea of sonder.

And sonder is the idea that everybody has a life that you don’t see, that you are just a a an actor in the play of their life, that everybody has their own problems, everybody has their own joys, everybody has their own sorrows.

And understanding that everybody has their own story should allow you to show some grace, to be forgiving, to not overreact to them when they have an unreasonable request or an unreasonable, complaint. We are in the middle of a pandemic.

You are an independent brick and mortar retailer.

This is your opportunity to do good work in the world by being a patient, good, kind human being. That’s the first thing I wanna say. In this pandemic, be a good human being. But now let’s talk about the mechanics of handling these complaints correctly and why I’m sharing something that seems counterintuitive.

Back in the day when I was going out and speaking live, which I hope to do again sometime soon, one of my most popular, programs was about customer service.

And I would ask people in the audience, I would say, so what’s the first thing you should say when somebody complains? And almost everybody said, I’m sorry.

And while that is a natural reaction, it is not a correct answer. Because the minute that you say I’m sorry to somebody, you are implying that you are doing something wrong. They are also if they had wound themselves up and gotten themselves into a state to come in to complain, now they’re on the offense.

So I’m sorry is not the right thing to say.

The right thing to say is thank you.

And the reason that thank you is the right thing to say is because it puts you on the same team.

You’re now working together to find a solution to the problem they’re complaining about.

So this is so important.

Thank you. We’re on the same team. I recognize that a complaint is a gift. And when someone complains, they’re giving you the opportunity to make it right. You know, statistics show that most people who have a problem, they don’t complain.

They just don’t come back. Think about your own experience for a second. You know, you have a problem. You go into a restaurant. Something’s right. You know, it’s a hassle to complain.

If you don’t want the confrontation, you just wanna get through the meal, go and not come back. And this is what most people do. So if they actually complain, they’re giving you that opportunity. And you have a chance to make it right, and now is the time to make it right. So let’s talk about the process.

So, the first thing you do is you say thank you and when I say say thank you, I mean, say it sincerely.

Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. You see, all of a sudden you’ve taken all of the all of that energy that they may have built up to come and complain and you’ve neutralized it. And then you wanna ask questions.

You know, if, you have our retail sales academy or you have the retail mastery system and you’ve been through the selling module, we talk a lot about this idea of active listening. Listening with your eyes, ears, hands, heart, and mind. Really, really paying attention. Because when you ask good questions and you listen actively, people you will get to the bottom of what the real problem is.

Because they may tell you that the problem is that the sweater is blue and they wanted it in red, but really the problem is something completely different. Am I right? They’re having emotionally bad days and this just triggered them. So you wanna really, really listen empathetically.

And then you wanna do my Bob Negen social worker trick. You might not have known this, but I was a social worker for a couple years. But one of the the things that they teach you as a social worker is to play it back. So say, it’s okay.

Okay. Good. So after you listen actively, you say, so let me just make sure I have this correct. The problem with this thing is this.

Is that right? Now do you see how I’m listening correctly? And they go, yes. That’s it.

You have found it. Now you get a chance to really work the magic because the magic is in letting them come up with the solution.

So you’ve said thank you. You’ve asked good questions. You’ve engaged in active listening. You’ve played it back to make sure that, that you have indeed solved the or you’ve identified the right problem. And then you say, what would you like me to do?

So do you see what’s happened here? Now did you see my body language? I didn’t say, what do you wanna do? I said, you’ve given me a gift.

What do you want me to do to make this right? You know, this was a technique that I developed when we were selling lots of yo yos. And, you know, there were always problems. There were you know, the kids would break the yo yos.

The kids would slam the yo yos. And what I found was it was just much easier to let them solve the problem for me than for me to tell them what I could do for them. And here’s what I learned. I learned that when I let them solve the problem to their satisfaction, they were happier with the resolved problem, and it always, not always, but almost inevitably cost me less than if I had come up with a solution for them.

You know, a few years ago, I was speaking at the Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan Chamber of Commerce. Actually, it’s many years ago now. But, I gave that customer service program that I referenced, and a woman came came up to me and there’s a casino in the zoo.

And she said, you know, at the casino, for a long time, we had a list. Right? We all sat down and made a list. If this is the problem, this is how we’re gonna comp compensate them.

So they figured out what the comp was for a particular problem. And she said, just one day, we just, I don’t know, out of the blue decided to give what I was talking about a try. And they did that. They started to just say, wow.

Thank you so much. What would you like us to do? And what they found was that the customers were a lot happier and they were spending a lot less money. People just want to be heard.

If you let them be heard, they will find a solution that is good for them and fair for you. Now some of you might be saying, oh, Bob, you don’t know my customers. They’ll rip me off. Here’s what I wanna say to you.

In the nineteen years that I had my retail business, I almost, you know, was probably, you know, I I I did this hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times.

Only twice did somebody give me an unreasonable request.

Only twice.

This is part of this whole idea of doing business the right way.

Givers get.

What would my customer want?

How can you put yourself forward? As an independent brick and mortar retailer, your ability to build relationships this way is your number one competitive advantage. And letting your customers choose how they want their problem solved is the correct way. It’s counterintuitive, but it’s the correct way to keep your customers hyper loyal.

Alright. I hope that you found that helpful.

If you, have any comments, questions, if you’re doing something that is cool and that I should know about, please put them down in the comment section below. I’m Bob Negen. I’ll see you next week.